Sudden Weakness
by bonegeisha
Summary: Itachi is the Uchiha Prodigy child and the youngest anbu captain ever. Now he's been sent on a mission with two men where something goes horribly wrong and he's faced with a weakness he's never known. -ItaSasu
1. First Mistake

~~Hello again! I've come back with a request this time! Someone asked me to do a story where Itachi lost his eyesight and had to depend on little Sasuke to basically give him his will to live back. I know this doesn't really follow with the story arc in the actual Naruto stuff, but it's still a cute idea so I decided to do my best^^ You must realize though, these first few scenes are a "fight" scene...sort've...I'm not very good at that sort've thing so you'll have to forgive the silliness and pathetic attempt at making it dramatic. If this goes over well though and is liked by a few of y'all I'll continue it! So, please read and review this story and tell me if I should keep going! Thank you so much, enjoy!~~

"Sudden Weakness"

There came a moment in time where every anbu would pause to evaluate his station in life. There came a moment in time where every anbu would stop and look around him, and wonder what he was doing to and for the world. Was he a mindless killing machine created souly for the purpose of doing the grunt work of a country? Or was he making a difference in the world? Was he clearing a path for generations to come by slaying the evil and laying down the foundations of peace? Or...was he just a tiny piece of the puzzle that made no difference what-so-ever? It was the only weakness an anbu ever encountered. They were the elite, they were the ultimate ninja, they were the unbeatable. There was no such thing as weakness to an anbu other than self-doubt. But, there came a moment in time where every anbu had to quell his doubts and remember there was no backing out of what he had signed his life over to, because he had signed the contract in blood.

Itachi scanned the ground silently, looking for the slightest change in the scenery to alert him to anything suspicious. His gloved fingers touched the peeling bark of the tree behind him, as if he needed to be steadied. He blinked behind the thick mask he wore, able to hear his lashes brushing against the smooth, cut edges of the eye holes surrounding them. His sandled feet shifted beneath his weight as he readied to leap from the tree, almost sure it was safe to move on. He glanced over his shoulder, hearing one of his team members settling in a tree of his own, making the softest of noises. There was no foilege to cover them this time of year, only cloaks and jutsus.

Something rustled in front of him and he spun his head back around, his fingers dragging over the tree's bark as they readied to grab his katana. There! Fourteen paces ahead, between the snow drift and the oak tree! Only one though...the other was hiding elsewhere. Most likely setting up an ambush, as if they were foolish enough to fall for something so childish. He lifted his free hand, creating slow, drawn out motions as the wind rattled the bare branches amidst them. Two men moved forward silently, landing in trees on either side of him. He glanced between them, waiting for them to motion they were ready. They nodded slowly and he did too, then gave them the go ahead to attack.

He watched as they lunged out of the trees in flurries of black cloaks, landing in front and behind the hiding enemy. He shot from his cover, attempting to run, but Itachi smirked behind his mask, knowing the man wouldn't get far. It was foolish to take on anbu, especially a whole team. One man ran after him, throwing shuriken and knocking the opponent to the ground. Another man fell from the trees across the way, attacking the anbu left behind, but the ninja was a fast thinker, blocking and countering fast as light. Snow began to fall and Itachi glanced up at the swirling gray clouds above, then back down to his team. He was never one to like battle, and would get them to do his work through manipulation and cunning if he could, but that wasn't to say he was a coward.

Hearing noises beneath him his eyes shot downward, a frown crossing over his hidden face. There should be no one on this side of the clearing. Three more enemy men were hovering beneath him, waiting to attack. Itachi slowly reached up and over his shoulder, grabbing the hilt of his katana in a flexing grip, straightening his feet and readying to drop. Two men shot forward and into the clearing as Itachi dropped on the third, slitting his throat before he knew what was going on. Quickly searching the body he looked up, his men locked in battle with two opponents each. He knew they were questioning his leadership now. He was too. He would be lucky if they made it out of this alive with him.

He ripped three kunai out of a pocket, running forward into the clearing and hurling them at an opponent on the left, dashing towards one on the right. The man on the left fell dead, but the man on the right spun around and blocked his blade with his own, quickly ducking and slashing in a counter move to his stomach. Itachi flipped backwards, kicking the man's jaw as he did so. He landed and brought his blade up in a block of his own as the man lunged forward, snarling in rage as his lip spilt blood onto the white snow beneath them. The enemy was slow, their feet sinking heavily into the snow drifts, the anbu's managing to stay atop it with little effort.

The left teammate dropped his final opponent, ducking beneath his blade and stabbing him in the throat with the katana blades attached to his gauntlets. He shook the dead man off and ran for the man attacking his friend, dashing past Itachi without the slightest effort to help, knowing there was no need. His captain could take a single man. Itachi hissed through his teeth as he shoved the man's blade back, dropping and swiping his feet from beneath him, sending him crashing to his back. The man was bleeding from his lip and nose and had a rather large gash running across his stomach now. Itachi walked over and looked down at his with a lofty brow, disdain swallowing his features as he slowly shook his head and placed the tip of his blade to the man's exposed throat. The enemy looked up and gave a soft snort, his breath swirling in a white cloud around his face before dissipating into the air between them.

"You anbus think you're all so great...Your noses are up so high you all would drown if it rained." He slapped his chest and Itachi gave his own scough behind his mask, quickly slitting the bare flesh before him. He knelt and reached for the man's pockets, moving to search for the scroll he needed, when he heard something hissing quietly. The anbu captain blinked as he suddenly realized why the man had struck his chest. The last opponent fell to the snow with a muffled thud, just as Itachi rose to his feet and jerked his head towards his teammates, reaching for them with a quick hand, "BOMB!" But, it was too late. His words were drown out by the sound of the explosion and all three of them were blown back into the trees they had descended from.

"Captain! Captain, wake up!" There was someone shaking him roughly, almost violently. He furrowed his brow, groaning and attempting to swat the person away as he rolled his head from side-to-side languidly. "Captain!" He groaned again, suddenly feeling every ache and hurt in his body. He leaned up on one elbow, touching his forehead lightly with his hand, able to feel rips and tears in the leather of his glove, tatters of it hanging off the side of his palm. Wasn't there a bomb? Wasn't he still in the field? A sudden, sharp pain shot behind his eyes and he let out a cry, his head falling back with the hurt. "My eyes! Gods, my eyes!" He shook his head, rubbing at his eyes fiercely with his hand as he forced himself to sit up, doubling over with in pain. They burned worse than ever before! Sharingon had never hurt like this! What was going on?! "Captain, we need to get you back! You need a medic!" Someone was shouting at him, shaking his shoulder again, attempting to lift him to his feet. He let out another cry, shoving the man back and staggering to his feet on his own, still wiping and rubbing at his burning eyes.

"It hurts! What the hell happened?! My eyes, my eyes!" He would go mad if this pain didn't stop. It felt like burning needles pricking and picking at his eyes, jabbing in and out, over and over again. He heard feet shuffling around him, heavy breathing that wasn't his, and felt the hands on him again, pressing his back into a tree. "Captain, the blast! You're really hurt, you need to let us get you back to the village and a medic!" Itachi shook his head wildly, thrashing in his man's grasp, suddenly noticing he could see nothing but black. "Why can't I see?! What the hell is wrong with my eyes?!" The men continued to hold him down, one trying to fling him over his shoulder, but Itachi struck the man in the back of the neck, knocking him out cold. "Captain!"

He tore blindly through the trees, his hands out in front of him, grasping and shoving at the branches and trunks that got in his way. His breath burned in his throat and every noise in the forest was too loud, even the sound of the snow falling made him want to scream. "No!" He let out an anguished cry of rage and pain, stopping to catch his breath and claw at his eyes again, as if he could tear the blindness away like a band aid. This couldn't be happening, HOW did this happen?! He was a genius! He was an anbu captain! The youngest ever! Nothing could touch him! How did this happen? HOW?!

Some how Itachi managed to find his way back into the village. Stealing over the wall and sticking to the roof tops, he moved quickly and unfettered. There was nothing for him to run into if he stuck to the top of the village. He moved by smell, rational enough to be able to trace the smells of his home down through the streets and many houses he touched. But, when he got to the roof of his own house, it was as if any remaining rationality left. Trying to move down the side of the tiles he stumbled, falling quickly with nothing to catch on to. He managed to tuck into a roll and hit the ground as a ball, not hurting anything that didn't already ache in some way. He stumbled up, staggering forward a few steps into the blackness, a hand reached out farther than the other, fingers grasping at the air for something, anything, that they knew.

Finally they hit a smooth wooden post, one he knew belonged to his front porch. He quickly stumbled up the steps, tripping once or twice before running to the door and slamming into it. Groaning he threw open the door, listening to it slide quickly in its tracks, slamming to a halt with a resounding 'clack' in the stillness of the night. He needed peace, he needed this pain to leave, he needed this hurt to go away. "SASUKE!" Itachi screamed, his body losing its adrenalin rush from the pain and giving beneath his weight, causing him to collapse heavily to the tatami mats.

Would it be alright for him to cry in this situation? To show some kind of weakness when he felt so helpless? WAS he crying? He couldn't tell...he couldn't tell anything any more. There was just this empty darkness, and this horrible burn; was he going to be eaten alive by the flames his clan commanded with such ease?

Sasuke heard the scream and shot up in bed, eyes wide and terrified as they searched the darkness of his room, his grip on the covers one of white knuckled horror. There was nothing there though. Nothing but his room and the night enveloping it. He caught his breath, reaching up and touching his chest lightly, trying to slow his heartbeat as he glanced up at the window above his bed. Snow was falling outside...he hoped Itachi was warm enough, where ever he was. Sasuke suddenly started with a jolt, jerking his head towards his door and staring at it like it had grown arms and legs.

What if that was Itachi calling him from downstairs?! What if something bad had happened to his aniki?! He ripped the covers back, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and hauling across the tiny room, flinging open the door and running out of the room. He almost slammed into the hallway wall, but shot his hand out, managing to catch himself and turn to run down the stairs, jumping them two at a time. A cold breeze struck him halfway down the stairs and he felt his heart stop, that meant the door was open; something WAS wrong.

When he hit the last stair he froze, covering his mouth as it opened in a silent scream of his own. Itachi was lying on the floor across the room from him, his lower half still outside, his upper half inside. He was lying on his side, partly in fetal position, scratching and rubbing viciously at his eyes. Sasuke could hear groans and grunts of effort and pain escaping his brother's tightly pressed lips, every now and then he would give out a desperate, pained cry of loss of will and throw his hands to the floor, but not too long after he would reach up and start again. "Nii-san!" Sasuke felt tears welling in his eyes as he ran over to his older brother, dropping to his knees beside his head.

Itachi froze, as if he was listening for the sound again. "S-Sas-" Sasuke fell over on his chest, sobbing as he touched bloody spots of bare flesh on the anbu's body, his clothing torn and tattered in so many places you could barely tell what he was wearing. "Nii-san! What happened?! Are you alright?!" He lifted his head, Itachi lifting his own and reaching for his little brother. His hand touched the young Uchiha's cheek blindly, his fingers moving slowly as they tried to identify what he was touching. Two of his fingertips had no glove covering them any longer, so he was able to feel the warmth of the boy's wet cheek. "Oh, Nii-san! Your eyes! Your beautiful eyes!" Sasuke's little hand touched his own cheek, his thumb rubbing over the slick blood that apparently covered it. What a sight he must've been to the little boy. Itachi winced and dropped his head back to the carpet, the burning sensation seeming to worsen.

His hand curled into a fist on Sasuke's cheek and the boy quickly reached up, grabbing hold of it and squeezing, "You need the doctor, Nii-san! I'm going to go get him!" He whimpered, shaking his head slowly as Itachi quickly shook his head. "No! You can't leave, Sasuke!" His voice was a desperate plea, begging not to be left to this darkness alone again. "I have to! You need a doctor, Nii-san, please!" Sasuke begged, his own voice rising in pitch as his desperation to make his brother live grew. "My eyes! Don't!" Itachi reached up with his free hand again, rubbing and scratching at his eyes, trying in vain to scratch away whatever was holding him to this empty void, trying to make his little brother see that he didn't need to worry about him. "Stop it!" Sasuke fell over on his chest again, snatching his wrist and forcing it down to his chest, clutching it tightly. Itachi could feel his tears hitting his throat and face, he could smell the worry and sadness on his little brother, could smell the pure terror of losing him. "Stay here, I'm going to get the doctor, Nii-san!" And then he was gone, ripped away from him so quickly he couldn't stop the little boy.

Itachi leaned up, reaching for where the child had once been, crying out in agony before falling back to the floor and covering his eyes. "Sasuke!" He begged, crying out to the emptiness that surrounded him. He had never felt so helpless, never felt so alone. He never knew this desperation, this upset, this kind of pain. Is this what weakness felt like? When the boy had run over to him there had been light. He had seen a warm light, and heard the boy's voice echoing softly in his head, like he was in a foggy tunnel and his little brother was at the other end, calling to him. How would he know if the boy was going to come back? What if he had run off and was just going to leave him here? What if something got him while he was so weak? What was this sudden terror that gripped his heart so tightly?! "SASUKE!"


	2. Let Down

~~Second chapter! I had a little trouble with this one, seeing as it's mostly filler to let you know how the family feels about what's going on, but I tried to do my best with Fugaku. I rarely mention Itachi's parents because I feel they both let him down in a huge way, in the same way Fugaku felt let down by Itachi. That and it's just not fun to write this kind of family angst, lol So yes, do tell me what you think! I'll have more up soon! Thank you so much for reading!~~

_I forgot to add this last time: I own nothing but the idea for the story, these characters belong to their original creators-sadly_

"Let Down"

"Fugaku, Sir, I umm...I have to say I had hoped we would never see you in here for such a reason..."

"Just tell me what's wrong with him. Don't waste my time."

"Umm, yes sir. Well, you're son's corneas have severe burns and minor lacerations on them. The-the mask he was wearing um, when caught in the blast it shattered and shrapnel went into his eyes...not to mention he was apparently facing the blast, the results are....dismal, Sir."

"...Is he of any use anymore?"

"Umm...S-sir?"

"Don't be stupid! You know what I asked! Is he bedridden forever?"

"N-no, Sir. There are many ninjas, some anbus too, that work with such handicaps everyday."

"I didn't ask you that."

"Yes, Sir. Umm...we've prescribed a medicine for him to take twice a day by mouth, with food if possible. It should help ease his pain and relax the muscles in the eye to avoid too much strain. We've also prescribed some eye-drops that he'll need to put in once every day, these should prevent scarring and reduce inflammation. Finally there's the antibiotics he'll need to take with the other medicine, but just once, in the morning. These should prevent infections. Hopefully he'll heal, at a slow rate, but he'll heal. If not then we'll have to look to other options, such as corneal transplant."

"There are no other options. Your first treatment works or it doesn't. He can' have a transplant he's an Uchiha dammit!"

"W-well...Sir, I'm sorry, but this is all we can do for your son."

"Dammit..."

Fugaku watched the doctor walk away, watching him shake his head slowly as he did. The elder Uchiha grumbled under his breath, turning and looking through the window attached to his son's hospital door. His favorite child, his prodigy child, lay propped up against pillows, his head turned to face the window, as if he could see out of it. His hope for his family was lying useless in that bed. No one seemed to understand that. He was the Uchiha Prodigy Child, he was the hope of the clan, the boy that was going to make the Uchiha name known and feared again; now he was as useless as any other child.

The thing with Shisui had started to blow over, he had been having trouble uplifting his son like he had once before, true, but he hadn't expected the boy to act out in such a stupid way. He hadn't expected him to destroy everything like this. Fugaku closed his eyes, frowning deeply and turning from the window, slamming his fist against the wall monotonously as he tried to think. What would happen now?

"Daddy! Where's Nii-san?" He opened his eyes to see his wife and youngest child coming towards him, the six year old gripping his mother's hand tightly as he stared with wide eyes at him. Fugaku grumbled, shaking his head and turning his back on the room, gesturing towards it with a dismissive hand. Sasuke released his mother's hand, flying forwards and slamming into the door, his anxiousness causing him to fumble with the slick handle for a second before he pushed open the heavy door.

Mikoto looked to her husband with the gentle expression that came as easy to her as disdain and viciousness did her husband and the clan. "Honey...what did the doctor say?" She reached out and gently touched his arm, watching his eyes turn to her with a tired anger. "I don't know, something about burned corneas, cuts, medicine...just a bunch of junk." He waved it away, grumbling angrily and looking at the floor with a heavy sigh. She put her hand to her lips, squeezing his arm gently before turning and glancing through the window at her two sons.

"Did he say if he would recover? This is going to be so hard for him to deal with as it is, maybe if he has the hope of recovery..." She murmured, tears brimming in her eyes as she spoke. "He may, they don't know. They weren't any help at all." Fugaku pulled away from her and she quickly turned to face him again, able to sense the anger and dispare in her husband. "Useless, all useless." She shook her head slowly, turning and stepping towards her son's room, touching the door handle lightly. "Come, honey, you need to go see him. He needs your encouragement now if ever." He turned and glared, then slowly shook his head touching his chin lightly.

"No. I have nothing to say to him. Only a fool makes the mistake he made, I have no time for fools." She frowned a little too, going over and taking his hand and pulling him towards the door, "At least come inside, if anything your presence will let him know you still care." and with that she put her foot down as a wife. She opened the door and drug him through, listening to him mutter and mumble behind her.

Sasuke ran into the sterile hospital room, stopping in the middle of the doorway as he looked up at his older brother. He had never seen his brother hurt. He had never seen the boy with even a scratch. His father always said NOTHING could hurt the boy, that he was the elite of the elite. He didn't know how to feel now, remembering what condition he had found his older brother in the other night, and looking at him now. There was no blood, and there wasn't the smell of burnt flesh anymore. Just the scent of medicine and hospital food. The scent of recovery and cleanliness...why didn't something good like that smell any better?

Itachi was resting upright in the bed, propped up on the pillows and breathing lightly. He had a hospital gown on, the scratchy material looking so uncomfortable against the skin that Sasuke knew was soft and smooth. There were little scabbed over cuts and scratches running up and down his bare arms, even a few thin ones on the side of his throat and cheek. He had a cut with stitches over it on his chest, right beneath his collarbone, but most of it disappeared down the front of the gown. There was white gauze wrapped around parts of his hands, his left palm wrapped up and two of his fingers, and the entire right hand wrapped up, stopping half way up his arm. But, the most painful thing for Sasuke to see, was the gauze around his brother's head.

His beautiful ebony colored hair fell in strings over his partially exposed ear and down his shoulder, tangling and knotting on his back. The bandages wrapped tightly around the top of his head, covering his eyes in diagonals from both directions. Small blood stains had seeped through the bandages in spots, making them look more painful than they should have. His mouth was turned down in the usual disappointed, unsatisfied look he wore when he came home from missions or when he stopped training for the day; he just looked lost and hurt.

"Nii-san! Nii-san, I came to see you!" Itachi's head quickly turned towards the noise, his fingers gripping at the gray covers lightly, pulling them a little as the boy ran over to him. Sasuke quickly scrambled up on the bed, wrapping his arms around his brother's neck and burying his face in his shoulder. Itachi failed to move, rather took in a small breath, ignoring the pain shooting through his body at the weight of the child on him. There was a light in the darkness again. He could smell the scents of his home on Sasuke, but beneath it all he could smell the pale scent of the boy's flesh, and feel the warmth of the love radiating off of him. "Does it hurt too bad, Nii-san?" Sasuke had leaned up now, Itachi could feel his little fingers touching deftly over his cheeks and lips, as if avoiding the bandages. He let out a quiet sigh, "Not so much anymore, Sasuke...not so much anymore." He muttered and turned towards the window again.

Sasuke blinked, reaching up and letting his fingers hover over the bandages, hesitating before lightly running his fingertips over each eye. "Can you see me at all, Aniki?" He whimpered and Itachi closed his eyes behind the bandages. It made no difference, there was nothing but darkness anymore, but it was truly human thing to do; to shut the world out by closing your eyes on it. "No, ototo...I can't see you." There was stillness in the room for a moment, the air around them hung with heaviness as the words seemed to settle in on both of them. Sasuke looked down at their laps, having climbed onto his brother's lap a while back.

He had never really been this open with his brother before. He had always been able to run crying to Itachi, he had always been able to whine at Itachi, but he had never really expressed THIS much emotion with his older brother before. Last night though, when Itachi had screamed for him so desperately, he felt like something was cemented within his heart. Now he knew Itachi loved him back, and he wanted to show Itachi more of his love, to see if it would be returned just as generously.

"Then...is it okay if I cry?" He whimpered, already feeling the tears escaping his eyes, unable to stop them. Itachi felt his heart warm and ache all at once at the boy's words. He looked down, knowing he was watching the top of the boy's head now. Slowly he reached up and brushed his bare thumb over his little brother's cheek, sighing as he felt the wet warmth he had felt the night before. "There's no need to cry, Sasuke. I'm nothing to shed tears over." He muttered and felt Sasuke's face jerk up to look at him, able to feel the tension in his cheeks that showed he was angry with his words. Sasuke opened his mouth and got ready to say something, but the door opened instead, making the younger boy turn his head with a quiet gasp.

"Okasan!" Itachi felt Sasuke's face change into something resembling happiness and dropped his hand back to the bedsheets. "Sasuke-kun! What are you doing, you're brother's hurt! He doesn't need you crawling all over him! Come, get down, get down." Mikoto hissed gently at her youngest, watching him quickly scramble off Itachi's lap and down the side of the bed, running over to her side and hugging her legs tightly. Itachi didn't move, just looked down at the still warm sheets that Sasuke had been sitting on top of. His fingers clutched slowly at the sheets again, dragging them a bit farther into his lap and against his chest while he let out a quiet sigh. Mikoto looked up as Fugaku walked into the room and shut the door behind himself.

"Itachi, honey, how are you feeling?" He closed his eyes again, unable to feel anything from either of his parents, just knowing their voices and smells. "I'm fine...They gave me some medicine." He muttered and she nodded slowly, pushing hair out of her eyes lightly, one hand still pressed tightly to Sasuke's little back, keeping him constrained to her. "He said it didn't hurt so much, Okasan." Sasuke looked up at her and she glanced at him, smiling lightly before looking back to her oldest. She had always worried Fugaku was pushing her first born too hard and not pushing her second born hard enough, now she wondered, like the rest of them, what would happen to their family. "Yes, that's good. Your father said they mentioned some medicine to take home. It sounds like they're expecting you to make a recovery." Itachi slowly turned towards her, clutching at the covers just a little more, wanting that bright warmth near him again and not across the room from him.

Fugaku snorted, "Don't fill his head with such nonsense. Even if he gets his eyesight back he'll never recover from this foolish mistake." Mikoto whipped her head around to face her husband, glaring at him, "Fugaku! Stop it!" She hissed again, but he glared back at her. "Why?! I've never sugar coated anything for him before, why start now?" He turned his harshness to Itachi, who was listening patiently, having expected this a while back.

"How could you do something like this, Itachi?! First this foolishness with Shisui, now a mistake like this?! Are you trying to ruin your life and everyone elses?!" He barked, stomping his foot and gesturing angrily towards his wounded son. Itachi never flinched. "Fugaku, stop it! He's your son! You should be worried about his recovery!" Mikoto cried out, releasing Sasuke to turn to her husband with pleading eyes. "He is not my son! I have only one son now." With that elder Uchiha turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind himself.

Mikoto pressed her hand to her mouth, holding in a sob before spinning to face Itachi, feeling the tears starting down her cheeks. "Okasan..." Sasuke tugged at her skirts, but she ignored him, shaking her head slowly as she studied her eldest child. She had always wanted for him to just be happy...that was all she had ever wanted for him; not this. "H-he didn't mean it, honey, you know that. He just...just doesn't know what to do." She murmured, then looked down at Sasuke, who looked about to tears too. "Come, Sasuke, we need to let your brother rest." She took his hand and started to lead him along, but he cried out and turned to look at Itachi again. "No! I want Nii-san to come home too! I don't want to go home without him again! Nii-san!" He reached out for his brother, but the boy still failed to move, his head only having fallen to face the sheets a little more.

"Sasuke, stop! I don't need this right now, your brother will come home soon. Now stop it!" She turned and picked him up, shaking her head at having to carry her six year old child out the door. "Nii-san, please! I want you to come home, you have to train me! Please!" The door shut on his brother's cries and Itachi let his head fall completely at that moment, pressing his hands over his eyes lightly.

What was this new weakness? What was this sudden need for contact between him and his little brother? What was this loneliness? And how was he supposed to go home? How as he supposed to go on LIVING like this?


	3. Placebo

~~Alright, I know I've got a oneshot on here basically called the same thing, but the name seemed to fit this so well too that I couldn't pass it up XD So yes, Itachi has come home now and it's been a few days since his release from the hospital. I will warn you, there is a bit of yaoi/kind of incest towards the end. The boys just kiss. So...yeah...^^; I have to thank you all again for reading though, I'm so glad I can keep someone entertained with my writing, even if for a few seconds, you know? lol Thanks again! Please read, review, and enjoy!~~

"Placebo"

Itachi blinked behind his bandages, hearing his lashes brush against them just like they did his mask when he was on the field. He did not miss being on the battlefield. He did not miss leading teams of men to their possible deaths. And he did not miss killing. But, he did miss the sight of the world. He remembered what each season looked like very well, he remembered trade mark sights to each season and had magnificent visual aids to visit within his mind when he longed to see them again, but it wasn't the same.

He had noticed that the longer he tried to recall the sight of a blossoming cherry tree, the longer he called on the image in his mind of the cherry tree that bloomed near the entrance to their section of the village, the more distorted it became. The more the soft, pastel pinks and whites started to blend together to create new, strange hues that only a desperate mind could create. It was that way with everything he tried to remember, it slowly became distorted to fit his mind's perception of it. What he had always subconsciously thought it should look like it was slowly becoming, and he couldn't remind himself that no, the cherry tree was baby pink, as seen in this picture, because he couldn't see the picture. He felt like he was losing his mind, when really, it was taking over.

He was sitting in his bedroom now, on his bed with his head turned to the window near him. No, he couldn't see it. No, he had no idea what was on the other side of that window, waiting to burst in and attack him at his weakest, but he wanted to look at it. He could feel the warmth of the setting sun shining in on him and, if he listened close enough, he could hear the whistle of the winter wind outside every now and again.

That was the terrible thing about this new weakness though, the fear that came with it. He had to rely on other senses to alert him to a presence in a room; not that he didn't before, but now he had to do it all the time, and was even more reliant on it. There was no choice now. He couldn't just turn his head to face the door instead of listening keenly to the way the footfalls sounded and figuring out who it was and what their purpose was; now he HAD to.

And what if something escaped him? What if someone or something outsmarted his hearing or sense of smell? They could be inches away from his face, blade outstretched to decapitate, and he would never know. This new found terror that kept him anxious and on edge constantly was beginning to eat away at his soul. So was the fact that he was worth nothing any longer.

What had he killed Shisui for? He had no eyesight left to use the mangkeyo WITH. His friend's death was in vain and that had been the only thing that justified it to him, was the fact that at least his death wasn't meaningless, at least it was for a good cause. What was it his father said so often when he talked about him now? "Useless, useless."

Footsteps were coming down the hallway now. A slow, constant shuffle that he recognized as his mother's. They paused and he heard the door open with a quiet sigh, the smell of fresh food greeting his nose alongside his mother's light perfume. "I brought you dinner, honey, and your medicine. Are you ready for me to put your drops in?" He could hear the kind smile in her voice as she moved closer to him, setting the tray of food down on his, now bare, nightstand with a light clack. She sat on his bedside and he slowly turned to face her, his hands still bandaged and resting idly on his covered lap.

He hadn't moved from this bed in a few days and his body was beginning to ache from lack of use, but he refused to go outside. He wasn't going to go out and let the world see him like this. He wasn't going to listen to their whispers and hisses behind their hands as he passed by, because apparently being blind meant you were deaf too. He had dealt with enough of that in the hospital, he would not go through it again. "I'm fine." The words were mumbled, his voice sounding a bit crass from lack of use also. He turned to face the window again, letting out a small sigh through his nostrils.

Mikoto stopped and dropped her hands to her lap lightly, studying her son with tired eyes he couldn't see. "Itachi, please...you'll only get better if you take your medicine right and eat." She reached out and touched his covered leg, able to feel the thick muscles he had built over the years. It had scared her, that her son had become such an efficent killing machine for the country, but then she had gotten Sasuke and had been able to pour all of her love and doting that she couldn't give Itachi onto him. Now that her eldest son was home and taking a break she was trying to give him the motherly love and care he needed, but he was fighting her every step of the way.

"I'm not hungry." His voice was even toned and bored sounding, something she was coming to hear more and more of lately. She sighed and looked down again, giving his leg a gentle squeeze after a moment and glancing up at him with a trying smile. "Well, how 'bout we step out onto the porch for a moment? The outside air will do you good and may even give you a bit of your appetite back." He kept stonewalling her though, failing to respond or even flinch, for some time after she finished speaking. "No, I'm fine." She pulled her hand back and let it fall to her apron covered lap again, slowly wringing her hands together as she tried to think of some other way to get him to eat and take his medicine. "Son...at least let me put your eye drops in and change your bandages." She let her shoulders slump as she looked back at him one more time. "Not now."

At his answer she stood up, rather quickly, and glared at him. "Don't you WANT to get better?!" She snapped, then turned and stormed out of the room, shutting the door loudly behind herself. Itachi waited until the sound of her footsteps quieted and the scent of her perfume settled into the air before clutching at his bedsheets, trying to remember hopelessly what color they were. All these years they hadn't changed, and he couldn't even remember their color.

What was the point in medicine? It wasn't going to make him better, they just gave it to him as placebos basically, to make him THINK he was getting better. He was no fool. He knew he was useless to the world now and was better off dying and decreasing the surplus population any more. He closed his eyes and dropped his head again, letting out a sigh of defeat.

"Okasan, I finished my-" Sasuke stopped in the kitchen doorway, looking at his mother as she sat at the table with her head in her hands. She was shaking and he could hear her tears. "Okasan, what's wrong?" He walked over, pressing against her side turned legs and putting his hands on her lap, looking up at her with big eyes. She sniffled, turning to look at him and wiping her eyes quickly. "Oh, Sasuke-kun...I-I didn't hear you come in, honey." She whimpered, forcing a smile and wiping her eyes again. "Did you finish your homework?" He nodded slowly and handed her the piece of paper he had scratched little answers onto. She gave another weak smile and nodded, studying the paper in her hand blankly as she held his hand with her second one. He watched her continuously, more interested in her than her reaction to his homework anymore.

Mikoto broke down once more, tears flooding from her eyes and her lower lip quivering as she dropped her head, squeezing Sasuke's little hand as she released his paper and put the back of her hand to her forehead tiredly. Sasuke waited a long moment before reminding her of his presence again. "Okasan...why are you crying? Did I do it wrong?" He knew it had nothing to do with the homework, but figured she would give him a better answer if he acted like he knew nothing. She lifted her head again, laughing brokenly and wiping at her eyes with the heel of her palm once again, shaking her head slowly before pushing strands of hair out of her face.

"N-no, honey, you did very good. Mama's just a little upset at your brother." She patted his hand as it rested on her lap still, Sasuke's brows furrowing a little as she said this. "Why, Okasan? Please, tell me what's wrong." He reached up and put his second hand on her hand that rest on the table, looking at her with concerned eyes again. She shook her head, looking away from her son, but feeling the tears come in another wave.

"I-I just don't know what to do, honey, I just don't know what to do. Your father argues with me so much more, he's put all of his ambitions on you now, and Itachi just won't take his medicine. How is he ever going to get through this if he won't take his medicine or eat something?" She leaned forward, surprising Sasuke by wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into herself, sobbing on his little shoulder. He blinked, trying to take the streamlined information in, slowly hugging his mother back, patting her on the back lightly like she did to him sometimes. "I just don't know what to do anymore..." She sighed, slowly regaining her composure and soon leaning up again tiredly.

Mikoto looked down at her youngest child and gave another weak smile, squeezing his shoulders before leaning forward and kissing his forehead tenderly. "What would I do without my little, Sasuke-kun?" She wondered quietly, getting to her feet and gently moving him back a step or two. He looked up at her, seeing her face rearrange itself into calmness once again, as though she had gotten everything off her chest and no longer felt the burden of it anymore. "Now, since you've done your homework, why don't we get you some dessert?" She started across the kitchen, her slippered feet shuffling slowly across the wooden floor as he smiled lightly and watched her, nodding his head slowly.

He didn't really want dessert, but he figured she needed the distraction. She reached up into a high cabinet and pulled down a little box, popping it open and motioning him over. He came over and held out his hands, trying to appear as excited as he usually did when she pulled down those boxes. "You can have an extra piece, seeing as you were such a good little boy tonight." She laughed quietly, handing him four pocky sticks and closing the box up, putting it back up on the top shelf and shutting the cabinet once more. He stuck one in his mouth quickly, grinning and offering her one when she turned back to him, but she shook her head and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Thank you, honey, but I'm fine. Now, you go and take your bath and get ready for bed." He nodded and turned, running out of the room and starting up the stairs. Mikoto tiredly took to cleaning the kitchen, knowing Fugaku would remain out for some time tonight, and she would probably already be in bed by the time he got home. If she wasn't he would at least be too tired to argue about the children tonight. It was a blessing from the gods.

Sasuke came out of the bathroom casually, towel drying his hair and grinning as he started towards his room. Maybe he could get some reading done before bedtime rolled around. He paused though, slowly looking up and letting the small towel fall to around his shoulders as he stared at the closed door in front of him. His brother was on the other side of that door. It was strange, to know that the older Uchiha boy was actually IN his room while Sasuke looked at it and the room wasn't just empty; like it always was.

Sometimes, when he missed his brother, Sasuke would sneak into his room and go through his things and sit on his bed for a while. There wasn't much in Itachi's room, he had never really cared about material things, apparently. Maybe one or two ninja training scrolls from when he was a genin, a few pens and inks, scraps of paper with notes scribbled hastily onto them, and extra weapons. The only really personal thing Sasuke had ever found in there was a four-leaf clover pressed in a small book, right alongside the torn off front piece to a pocky box. He didn't understand the semblance of it, or why his brother would have something so strange in his room, but he never mentioned it and never questioned it; though he did open that book and look at the things often.

Without realizing what he was doing Sasuke soon found himself opening his brother's bedroom door. He peered inside, holding onto the edge of the door and looking at the darkness of the room. That was right, his brother couldn't see now, so there was no need for him to light a candle. He could see Itachi's silhouette as he stared towards the window, the half moon casting a pale glow over his bare skin as the stars danced in the sky alongside it. He was so still, like he wasn't even breathing. "What is it, Sasuke?" His voice startled him, making him jump and stare at his big brother with wide eyes.

He straightened up and quickly stepped into the room, blushing brightly at being caught staring. "N-nothing, Nii-san! Sorry, I was just checking on you!" Not a full lie. Itachi slowly turned to face him, the bandages over his eyes making him look very freightening in the darkness of the room. "Shut the door and come here." Sasuke lifted his brows in surprise, but slowly nodded his head and turned, shutting the door quietly and walking over to the bed. He glanced down, seeing a plate of cold curry and rice sitting on the nightstand, along with some tea that had gone cold too. "You didn't eat again, Aniki." He sighed, putting a hand on the bedside lightly as he reached out and picked up the chopsticks lying across the plate and shifted them around, as if reiterating his point.

Itachi reached out and put his hand over Sasuke's own, curling his fingers around it lightly, making Sasuke turn to look up at him. "Mama was crying in the kitchen earlier. She wants you better, Nii-san. She says you won't take your medicine...why? Why won't you do the things that will make you better so you can train with me again?" He whimpered, eyes beseeching and concerned, but Itachi just shook his head languidly. "Foolish ototo, the medicine won't make me better. The doctor's just gave it to me to make me FEEL better, they know I won't ever see again."

Sasuke shook his head angrily, frowning and pressing his free hand down harder on the bed. "That's not true! They wouldn't give you the medicine if it didn't work!" He cried out childishly, staring Itachi down, even through the bandages. "You sound just like mom." He turned away, but Sasuke wouldn't stand it. "Good! Maybe you listen then!" Itachi quickly turned and looked down at him again, the surprise written on his face, even if half of it was covered up.

Sasuke shook his head once more, pulling his hand from beneath Itachi's and gripping down on it again, shaking it lightly to prove his point. "Just take the medicine! If it makes you better then it makes you better, if it doesn't then what harm has it done? At least it puts your family at ease and lets us feel like we're helping you in someway!" He started to cry again, but these were angry, fed up tears. He was tired of feeling as helpless as Itachi felt. He was tired of watching his brother waste away right before his eyes.

"We can't do anything for you! We suffer just as much as you do, Nii-san, because we just want to see you get better and you won't even give us THAT! Just take the medicine!" He shook his hand again, hitting it against the bed lightly before dropping his head and swiping at his eyes. He grew quiet and so did the rest of the room, Itachi just continued to stare at him.

After a moment, when Sasuke had almost given up hope of getting through to him, he felt him squeeze his hand ever so gently. Slowly the younger boy stared up at his brother, blinking at the small smile hidden in the corners of his mouth. "It will only hurt you more when you see that the medicine you've given me hasn't done anything to help me. Are you sure you want me to take it still?" Sasuke smiled and pulled away from him nodding, forgetting he couldn't see him. He turned to the nightstand and reached for the pill bottles sitting on it, picking up one of the bottles. "It says you only have to take this one at night...the other two are for in the morning. You gotta take them with food too...Hang on really quick, Aniki." Sasuke put the bottles down and ran out of the room, leaving the door open as he dashed down the stairs and into the kitchen.

His mother was in her room and his father was still out apparently. He didn't know how to heat things up on the stove, so he just grabbed a piece of bread off the kitchen counter and ran back upstairs. He shut the door behind himself, beaming as he did. Itachi was still turned to face him, as if he had been waiting on his return. "I got you some bread, Aniki. Mama wasn't in the kitchen, so she couldn't heat up anything." Itachi let out a quiet breath of a laugh through his nose as he felt Sasuke put the piece of bread in his hand. He could hear the boy panting quietly with excitement from the quick run, and he heard him shaking one of the pill bottles again, then capping it back up and setting it down.

There was quiet in the room as Sasuke watched Itachi take a slow, determined bite out of the bread, but made a slight face as he forced himself to chew and swallow. "What's wrong, Nii-san? It's good, isn't it?" Sasuke put his hand on the bed lightly again, twisting the pill between two fingers anxiously as he did. "It hurts to swallow, Sasuke. That's all." Itachi let the bread fall to his lap lightly, barely holding onto it. "That and I have no taste for food right now." He sighed and turned towards the window again.

Sasuke let his mouth fall open partially and slowly shook his head, feeling his brother starting to sink back into that lonely new world of his again, starting to pull away from him again. "Well, one bite should be good enough, here, take the pill now, Aniki!" Sasuke beamed and held out the pill to him, but Itachi wouldn't take it, he wouldn't even look towards him any more.

Sasuke bit his lower lip, pulling his hand down and holding it near his chest once more with a sigh as he glanced around and tried to figure out what to do. His eyes lit up as he suddenly remembered something they had learned in first aid class earlier in the week. He scrambled onto the bed and Itachi looked towards him, feeling the boy sit on his lap and put a light hand on his shoulder to steady himself. "You HAVE to take your pill, Nii-san. Come on, it's just ONE tonight." Sasuke tried one more time, holding out the pill to his older brother and smiling again, biting at the inside of his cheek. He would do what he had been taught in class if he had to, but he wasn't sure how Itachi would react to it, and knew that he'd probably get in trouble for it by Itachi and his parents; but he had to give him the medicine. Itachi had to get better, no matter what.

"It hurts to swallow, Sasuke." He mumbled back and Sasuke frowned, taking hold of his brother's shoulder and leaning closer to his face with a determined look in his eye. "You said you'd take it, Aniki. You HAVE to get better, so you HAVE to have your medicine. No matter what." With that Sasuke slipped the pill into his own mouth, then closed his eyes and leaned towards his brother's face.

Itachi's spine stiffened as he smelt the little boy's breath nearing his face, able to smell the chocolate pocky lingering there. He felt the boy's lips press against his own, his little tongue stroking open his lips timidly. Fire burst behind his eyes as his mouth opened and Sasuke slid the pill inside, using his tongue to coax it as far back as he could. Itachi swallowed and felt his little brother pulling away, but he suddenly became desperate to hold onto this sudden feeling of life and warmth that had tangled itself around him.

He grabbed Sasuke by the back of his head, pulling him forward with a small cry of protest. His second hand pressed against the child's lower back, pulling his body flush against his own as he blindly kissed him with a fierce passion he didn't know he had in him. Sense and reason came back to him soon after though and he let go of him, pulling back and running the tip of his tongue over the inside of his cheek, unsure of what to do next.

Sasuke sat and stared at his brother for a long time, his mouth still open a bit and lips still glistening from the heated exchange. He blinked after a minute, shaking his head and looking at their laps again, drawing his lower lip in and biting it as he thought. Itachi tilted his head just so, reaching up and touching the side of the boy's throat, deftly following it up to over his jaw and to the round of his cheek. He could feel the heat of his blush and the turned up corner of his little brother's embarrassed smile. He let out another breathy laugh, shaking his head slowly and looking down at their laps too, still lightly touching his face.

Slowly Sasuke looked up at him, reaching up and touching the back of his hand with timid fingertips before gently curling his fingers around it and flattening it to cup his cheek lovingly. "Aniki...if I give your medicine to you like that every day, will you take it all?" He wondered softly, causing Itachi's eyes to light up behind his bandages; he let a slow smirk crawl over the lower half of his face. "Foolish ototo," He felt Sasuke's countenance deflate almost immediately, his hands falling away from Itachi's own and body slumping with the hurt that he didn't think his older brother noticed.

Itachi leaned forward though, brushing his lips over the smooth skin of Sasuke's cheek, causing him to flinch in surprise as he rested the side of his mouth against his small ear. "of course I will." He murmured and Sasuke smiled, letting out a little cry of joy and wrapping his arms around Itachi's neck, pulling him into a hug. Itachi hesitated, but slowly hugged the boy back, burying his face in the crook of his shoulder and inhaling his scent.

There was light when Sasuke was around. He was the only one that there was light around. Everyone else was just empty voices and smells in the black abyss that had become his new life. But, Sasuke, his little piece of Edan that he had sought refuge in for years without the child knowing it...Sasuke was bright and warm and welcoming. And now, he was even warmer, and this strange bond that had suddenly developed between them was thickening and he was getting to where he needed his little bit of light more and more. He wondered if the boy felt the same way about him.


End file.
